Today marks two months since my heart surgery and I’m not gonna lie, I was really anxious when I first found out I had a massive hole in my heart from birth. After living with a hole in my ticker my ENTIRE life, the prospect of a life minus daily pain from inflammation and suboptimal blood flow is EXCITING, but the thought of having a prosthetic device implanted into my heart is quite SCARY.
I’m not the kind of person who is easily fraught with fear but as I write this on my way to the hospital I am forced to question my own sense of MOMENTUM from this day forwards. What does a pain-free life look like? How will I feel when I wake up each day? Will my goals shift when pain is no longer my front-page news?
Up to this point, I have been forced to create a life that is driven by FEARLESSNESS and an innate desire to RISE ABOVE the constant challenges I have faced on a daily basis. I have literally been the 1% most of my adult life – you know, that one person who seems to catch EVERY flu and cold, who REACTS to medications, who attracts UNUSUAL challenges on a daily basis but USUALLY deals by just getting on with it. This kind of life is not something I have DEFINED myself as by labelling my circumstances through victim mentality. I’ve had the daily choice to wake up each day and GET ON WITH IT and that’s the choice I will continue to make as I enter this exciting new chapter of MY life. Now in the thick of mu recovery, I cannot WAIT to bring a whole new ENERGY to each day, but I must get through THIS day first!
Today my fingers are crossed that my surgery runs smoothly so I can continue to FEAR-LESS and live my life with GRATITUDE. All the beautiful things I have learned through adversity on my journey to wellness have simply been GIFTS.
What are you grateful for today?